the writing clinic

Thanks to the people who sent in questions and problems. (Below are the first three sent in. The rest will be answered next week.) Please send yours in this week too – either click on the comment button below, or send an email. Brooke and I look forward to hearing from you.

From Sarah M.:

I often find myself changing verb tenses while writing my memoir, and wonder if there isn't something hidden in why I keep doing that. I know that part of it derives from the fact that I am writing from journals- which are almost all in present tense- but there seems to be something that makes me want to put it in the present. It would seem it might bring the reader into the story more intimately.  Most of my writing teachers have kept telling me that I must keep in the past tense to write memoir. Any thoughts on this subject would be appreciated. I look forward to the clinic.

Dear Sarah M. -
Thanks for a good question. I think the main thing is that you’re consistent with past or present and don’t confuse the reader. As for “rules” about writing a memoir in the past tense, all I can say is that I wrote my memoir Writing Out the Storm in the present tense. I wrote it that way because the first chapter came out of on-the-spot notes I was taking. (You can read the chapter on www.BarbaraAbercrombie.com) Another present tense memoir is James Frey’s A Million Little Pieces – which got a lot of controversy but not because of using the present tense. And I just finished reading a wonderful memoir written in the present tense: My One-night Stand With Cancer, byTania Katan, a terrific writer. (Her book is very moving and also very funny.) If you feel like you’re being pulled into the present tense, go ahead and write it that way. To see how a master weaves his way in and out of past and present, read Mark Doty’s luminous memoir, Heaven’s Coast.

Hello--

I am a member of Sarah M.'s writing group. She suggested that I send a question of my own that has been bothering me for years. It has to do with writing personal essays, and whether there has to be, as I put it, Greater Meaning. For example, the piece I submitted most recently to the group is an essay detailing my (then) four-year-old son's musings on God and evolution, which did not jibe with my own views. The piece is also a reflection on how I "found" my beliefs, or lack thereof.

So my question is then, is that okay? I told the group that I feel like I am "supposed" to have some lesson, or a tidy moral or something when I write personal essays. It's difficult for me to accept them just as they are--a bit of life without a teaching tool attached. Is it interesting to the rest of the world even though it's my story? I know I enjoy reading others' published essays, whether or not I find the "that's just like my life" bit.

Dear Sarah Z.

Generally personal essays need to simply have a point, not a Greater Meaning, tidy moral or a teaching lesson. The point can be understated, a slight a-hah, finding humor in a previously frustrating situation, or finding generosity within yourself, or even the acceptance of not being able to figure something out. The reader wants to know how you feel about your child’s beliefs, how you handled it, but not with tidy lessons or morals. We want to get to know you and go on this little journey with you and learn what you concluded. The only thing I wonder about is the “reflection” of finding your beliefs etc. How long is the reflection? Is it something you can cover in a few sentences? My advice would be to keep the essay between 500 to 1,000 words at most. There’s a huge market for this kind of essay – in print and on the internet. You’ve got a great subject - a four year old musing on God and evolution – and not jibing with your own ideas. It’s wonderful. Let me know what happens when you finally send it out.

From Elizabeth:
(her list of questions or problems with getting started as a writer)
1. I have trouble getting started writing when I know others will be reading my writing.
2. I have an inner critic that never rests. She is constantly telling me that my writing is not good enough.
3. Sometimes I don't write because I don't think I have anything original or interesting enough to say.
4. If I am trying to work on my memoir I get easily overwhelmed by thoughts of getting it finished and then getting it published.
5. I have great difficulty writing without editing.
6. I am too sensitive when it comes to having my work critiqued. I can't not take it personally and then I find it hard to get writing again.

Dear Elizabeth :

I’ve experienced every single item on your list. And so has every writer I know. It just comes with the territory; it’s part of being a writer. (God forbid people would be so smug and self satisfied that they’d think everything they wrote was wonderful and perfect.) The trick is to write your first draft so fast that you have to get out of your own way. Try five minute exercises. (Give yourself a topic word or sentence. Time yourself: 5 minutes. The only “rule” is that you can’t stop writing until 5 minutes are up) And read: The Courage to Write by Ralph Keyes (see sidebar) also Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones and Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. And remember this: (#1 on your list) No one will read your work until you’re ready for them to read it. (#3) Give yourself permission to write something not original or interesting and have faith that with time and work you’ll write it into something wonderful.

As for #6 – This is so hard and painful! And it never ends. I always want to have every word loved and to be told that the draft of my novel, essay, memoir is perfect. But it never is of course. So I sulk for awhile and then go back to work. Who’s giving you your critique? I hope it’s another writer – or a writing group. (have them read the workshop guidelines – go to categories and click on Getting Started As a Writer, then scroll down to “Courage & Community”.) I just learned another feedback method from Leon Martell on my panel last weekend at UCLA. Here’s what he does in his class during workshops:
1. Affirmations about the work.
2. Questions from the writer about his/her own work.
3. Questions from the group about the work.
4. Opinions from the group.
And when the writer has had enough, the writer says, Enough!
Good luck with your writing and thanks for your list. I know that 99.9% of everyone who reads it will recognize their own problems and fears. (Anybody out there who would like to comment?)

Comments

[Elizabeth Lacey]

Thank you so much for the comments and suggestions. It really helps to know that this is a "writer's condiition" and not an indication that I am not one. I have the book Courage to Write and will revisit it this afternoon.
Thanks again
Elizabeth

[sarah m]

This is for Elizabeth’s question #6- I used to feel the same way about my writing.

It might help you to remember, when you submit a piece for critique, that you are really asking for clarity of the writing, not feedback on yourself as a person. I know why you feel the way you do, but if you can learn to care more about getting the story out than your personal self tied to it, it does help.

If you care about the craft, it will help you immensely to have people who care about writing look at it, and suggest improvements¬– or tell you where you are "right on the mark." It can be a big advantage to improving your writing in a hurry.

Our group has rules for critiquing. It is not about the content, but the craft of the writing. We always say something positive first and where we thought the strength was in the piece before pointing out the weak spots.

Critiquing someone else’s work also improves your own, as you start to see your own mistakes in other’s writings. Hang in there. It is just plain hard work. A process.

[Barbara]

Elizabeth and Sarah - Thanks for those comments.

[sarah m]

Barbara– Thank you so much for this Clinic. What a great idea!
And, thank you for your answer to my question. I have put Mark Doty's book on my summer reading list. I will read it with an eye to using past and present tense used in memoir. sm

[sarah m]

Barbara– Thank you so much for this Clinic. What a great idea!
And, thank you for your answer to my question. I have put Mark Doty's book on my summer reading list. I will read it with an eye to using past and present tense used in memoir. sm

[Elizabeth Lacey]

Sarah,
Thank you for your kind comments. Your point is well taken about feedback being about the writing and not me as a person.
My writing group does follow rules similar to the ones listed her and I don't think anyone intentionally directed feedback at me as a person.Thanks for the feedback.
Elizabeth

[Sarah Z.]

Thanks for your feedback, Barbara. You scared me a little with the length comment, however. To wit, the piece I mentioned is 1845 words. I can edit it down a little, but couldn't halve it. How did you come up with the 500-1000 word suggestion?

[Barbara]

Sarah Z. : Because I've found in my classes that 99.9 percent of the time a student's essay can be whittled down to a much tighter form. Over 1,000 words and there's the danger of rambling. This is true for my own essays too. (There are literary essays of course that are much longer but also much harder to sell). Most of the markets for your kind of essay want it a shorter length. All essays you see in newspapers are around 750 words. Check in again if you have problems trimming it. And thanks for your feedback!

[Rob]

I wrote a letter to my god daughter, now 18 and departing for her senior year retreat, based on her mother's vague guidelines: memories, support, humor, love. It was well received. My "editors" think a wider audience would appreciate it; I think it lacks the background details and context that a reader would need. Do I add those at the risk of ruining the piece? How do I judge if something this personal has appeal outside the recipient?

[Barbara]

Rob - Terrific question. I'll answer it next weekend in the Writing Clinic. Thanks for sending.